Ep195 The Owner Who Isn't Getting It

[00:00:00] Chrissy Neumyer Smith: Episode 195, the owner who just isn't getting it. So let's talk about how we're gonna talk to owners, or if you're an owner, perhaps your groomer has sent you here. But let's talk about how we are going to talk to owners about why safety is part of behavior, behavior problems, or safety problems. And sometimes we have owners who really just aren't getting it, and I wanna help with that.

[00:00:23] That's what we're talking about this week. This is the Creating Great Grooming Dog Show. I am Christine Neumyer Smith. I'm a master groomer behavior specialist, a certified professional groomer, a certified professional dog trainer, a certified behavior consultant for canines, and I'm an instructor at Whole Pet Grooming Academy and the owner of Happy Critters in Nashua, New Hampshire.

[00:00:41] And this my friends and colleagues, is this show where we talk about teaching dogs to be good for grooming and other types of care. So let's talk about the owner who just isn't understanding. Now, a couple of things are happening here. Sometimes our owners are really under the impression that they bring their dog to the professional and they.

[00:01:01] They just get a haircut or they just get their nails done and they don't know that there's a problem at all. So we are gonna start off with the most basic part, and we will work all the way up to the owner who's saying like, I don't care. So step one, step one is really important. Let's talk about the.

[00:01:20] The behavior problems are safety problems, and we have to spell that out for our owners. Now, if you are a groomer, here is a really important piece for you, and if you're an owner, this is an important piece for you. Also, I guess to some extent, this is a discussion we should have before we take a dog into our care.

[00:01:40] This is a discussion we should have before we start saying how we're gonna do a haircut or how things are going to look and if it's gonna be pretty okay. We need to know what to expect first. And that's where a lot of groomers get into trouble and where a lot of customers become frustrated. They're like, I don't know why I was expecting him to look like the picture.

[00:02:01] And I came in and you're telling me that you couldn't get it done because they don't understand yet that. We can't just get it done on a dog who is struggling or having difficulty. This discussion needs to happen beforehand. So if you are a groomer and you are working on a dog right now, think to yourself, is this customer expecting perfection?

[00:02:24] Have I over promised? Have I, have I given the impression that, um, it'll probably all be fine. And even if you did talk about behavior for a lot of our owners, they think, well, he's gonna be fine. He's a good dog, and your dog is a good dog. Okay. The owners out there who are worried, listen, we love your pets.

[00:02:44] Your pet is a good pet, okay? But your pet could be really struggling with parts of this grooming process. Maybe your dog or cat isn't used to people, um, you know, other than yourself, of course, but maybe not even good with you. So we need to talk about how the grooming process can be particularly challenging even for a pet who normally is just fine,

[00:03:08] There was somebody who asked me, but what do you do when a dog isn't good for his nails? And this was an owner. And I'm like, well, you gotta do some training. And she looked at me like I was from Mars. Okay. It is not common sense.

[00:03:22] Groomers, trainers, vets. I want you guys to know it is not common sense to our owners that they would need to work on this. Take a deep breath. It just tends to be true. It's not common sense. So we need to spell this out that it's very different than the kind of things that their dog is usually having to do.

[00:03:40] Now, this owner also asks me questions about, well, I mean that I massage his feet. All right? And I hear that one a lot, and I hear that one a lot like dog trainers telling people to touch their feet a lot, and that'll help in the future. There's nothing wrong with touching a dog's feet. That's probably a great start.

[00:03:56] It just doesn't go far enough. Your groomer is not just massaging his feet. So if we want that dog to be good for nail trimming, we also need to work on other stuff too. And it's important for the professional to explain this to owners and maybe your professional has sent you here and that's wonderful.

[00:04:16] Great. , but I want you to know that we need to help your dog feel safe with the kind of things that we need to do, which are very different than what most owners are doing at home. So that step one is talking about behavior problems or safety problems. Your dog could be injured by sharp tools or by struggling to break free.

[00:04:36] There is no, just put a muzzle on him so he doesn't bite you, or he's too small to kill you. That is not what we're talking about at all. We need to really help this pet feel safe and. Behavior problems are when dogs get hurt. People get hurt, equipment gets broken, customers get upset, and businesses get destroyed.

[00:04:56] Okay? Your groomer is not going to, I hope, I hope your groomer is not going to just put a muzzle on and force your dog through it. That has gone the way of the dodo that is back in the last century. It is no longer appropriate. It is not. Okay. So. With that tough talk happening, but let's talk about our safety policy and one of the very few times that I actually go through and read something directly, but I want you to know on creating great grooming dogs.com, there is a blog post, and it's one of the first ones, it's actually a jpeg.

[00:05:30] You can download this if you want. You can set it up as a. On your own desk, at your own shop if you'd like to. It is not a contract, but what it does is it spells out how we do business or how I do business and others too. So to provide the highest level of care for your pet, we have a safety policy. If at any time your pet gets nervous, anxious, scared, aggressive, or even overly silly, we slow down and help your pet to be comfortable and calm.

[00:05:59] It's very important to us that the pets in our care are kept safe and stress free. We use sharp tools and we need to prevent injuries. We will work with your pet to help them feel comfortable. This will build a great experience for successful groomings, for your pet's lifetime. Your pet may not be groomed to perfection today.

[00:06:18] We will charge for the time that we spend working with your pet. So, like I said, not a contract. And you can find that at creating great grooming dogs.com. It's a, it's in the blog section. It is not a contract, but it tells people the why and the how. Why it's important? Why is it important? Well, it's important because dogs get hurt that way, and I cannot tell you how often people have said, why are you using sharp tools?

[00:06:51] And here's the fact. So owners, if you're an owner who's listening to this episode, if it cuts hair, it can cut a dog. Clippers can cut a dog nail. Trimmers can quick a dog or cut skin. Actually, if a dog really presses their foot into it or kicks it or flails, um, dogs can hurt themselves.

[00:07:09] Flailing around trying to break out of the, the grooming loop. , there's so many ways to get hurt and we are trying to keep your dog safe. That is your professional's job is to keep your dog safe and to assess what we can do today to help your dog feel comfortable and to help build for future grooming sessions.

[00:07:31] Think about the future. We're always planting the seeds for future grooming sessions. Your dog isn't well prepared for our services today. And how can we help you with that? 'cause we want to help you and help your dog. So as a first step. Talk about a safety policy. Just lay it out there that these behavior problems are unsafe and whatever that behavior problem may be, maybe it's the dog who is, , curled up and won't let you, like, stretch their body out a little bit so that you can touch their back leg.

[00:08:03] They can injure themselves by us forcing them to uncurl. , they can injure themselves, but if we have to force their tail up, that's why we don't do it. And maybe we used to. You probably had a groomer do that in the past. I've been the groomer who's done that in the past. Right. It used to be done that way, but it's 2024 and we don't do it that way anymore.

[00:08:25] , because we know we can injure a pet and we know there are ways to teach them to be comfortable with it. So part of why things like that used to happen is because it was like, oh gosh, you know, if only we had taught this dog when he was a puppy. And it was almost like there was this idea that you can't teach them later.

[00:08:43] Or that the fear, you know, once they had a couple of bad experiences, it was just gonna be like that forever. And can I reassure you that that does not seem to be the case? In most cases, we can teach that dog to be pretty good about it, okay? It's gonna take time. And forcing them will never, ever, ever help.

[00:09:03] Maybe you have a customer who's like, all right, you know, they're all, they're okay with that, and they're willing to take whatever recommendations you have. Fabulous. That's what I actually find most of the time. So if you're a groomer who's thinking, I don't know where to start, that is exactly where you start, because most owners are gonna say, I really had no idea there was a safety issue.

[00:09:21] You mean you could hurt his eye? I mean, I just wanted that hair trimmed near his eye because he gets eye boogie. I had no idea that like his eye could get injured, like they don't know. And most owners respond really well to explaining that you're trying to keep their dog safe. Step two, the customer isn't quite convinced yet, so they're asking, well just get it done. Just, just hold him still. I'm like, do you need me to hold him still? That's one that we hear pretty often. I, I can hold him still, you know, but this step is where we tell owners what you're asking me to do, to hold him still and just get it done, despite how he feels about it, makes the problem worse.

[00:10:02] It just makes the problem worse. This dog has 15 years of grooming needs. I usually round to like 15. Some dogs are gonna live longer. Some dogs aren't gonna live that long, but about 15 years. And if we want them to be able to be groomed their whole lifetime, this is the important part that we have to do.

[00:10:20] And for a lot of owners, they're like, what do you mean it makes it worse? And that's our discussion point. He's never gonna get better if we terrify him with our tools. , if everything that we do boils down to I'm gonna hold you tight and I'm gonna force it, then yeah, he's gonna get worse every time.

[00:10:39] Circling back to that owner I met this weekend, that is exactly what they do. 'cause as soon as they pull out that tool their dog doesn't like will run off and try to hide, which tells me that that tool has been forced on that dog.

[00:10:53] That tool represents, oh my God, they're gonna hold me down and get it done anyway, this is what happens. It makes the problem worse and as your professional who knows that it makes the problem worse. I shouldn't be doing things that make your problem worse. I should be here to help you solve your problem.

[00:11:11] So those are the first couple things that we do to talk to an owner, or if you're an owner. These are the first couple things I explain to help owners understand why we have this issue and what we can do about it. So we'll talk more in the next part. If you're enjoying the show, please remember to tell a friend, like, subscribe, wherever it is you're watching the show or listening to the show.

[00:11:31] The show is available as a podcast, anywhere you listen to podcasts. It's also available on YouTube. You can find creating great grooming dogs on YouTube, or you can go to creating great grooming dogs.com and watch there. So here is another one. Here is the owner who's heard those things and now is saying, I don't care how he feels about it.

[00:11:51] I just need to get this done. Now, this is the owner who is probably really frustrated. Okay. They've probably been turned away by a couple other people. So on the one hand, they have people telling them it is very, very important that your dog gets groomed, he's matted, or his nails are long, or you're not taking good care of him and you're a bad owner.

[00:12:11] And then they have a groomer saying, I can't do this for you. You know, because you're a bad owner, and I don't want owners walking away feeling judged. I want owners to walk away feeling like we have a solution set to offer them. Okay? These owners are frustrated and that's why they're like, I don't care how he feels about it.

[00:12:29] Just get his nails done. Like his nails are huge. I need them done. Why can't you just get it done? And that's the owner who is. Frustrated. Okay. So we have to talk to them about how forcing dogs can injure the dog, but also that teaching their dog to be calm, comfortable, and cooperative and working on it can actually solve the problem so that we don't have to do this their whole life.

[00:12:58] And I think a lot of owners find it really eyeopening. Let's say it's eyeopening that later on in life, their dog may still be just as stressed out about nails and just as aggressive, but also frail and elderly, and they might get turned away because we don't want their heart to explode on our table. I know, tech talk their heart to explode.

[00:13:21] But that's the dog who is likely to die in our care because now they're old and they're frail and they're. Panicking on our table and they're willing to kill people. Okay, this is not okay. I don't care how long it's been going on, this isn't the way we should be doing things. And to talk to our owners and say the bigger picture that they might not be seeing today, the bigger picture isn't about the five minutes that we spend holding him down and getting it done.

[00:13:50] All right, we could, we could have three people hold a dog down muzzle, him, strap him up every which way and get it done while he struggles and flails. But that does not help that dog for future grooming sessions, and it does not help that dog later on when he is elderly. I meet an awful lot of elderly behavior cases because of this, because this is the outcome.

[00:14:14] That dog is never gonna learn to relax for it. All right. It's hard. It's hard. So we have to help our owners understand that it does make a difference. This moment makes a difference and frightening and forcing dogs against their will. When we know there are other options like training, and I know I'm gonna sound a little bit sarcastic here, but dog training, it's not a new idea.

[00:14:40] It's been around for a long time. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has heard something about, I should probably train my dog. So it's okay for us to say, we understand that you have this problem and you might have had trouble finding training before, but we have some options for you. We have some options for you and we want to help you with your dog.

[00:15:02] I love behavior cases. I think they're, I think they're great dogs. Alright? And to help our owners help help their dogs, it's really important that they feel like, oh, you're trying to solve my problem. You're not just turning me away. This isn't about turning me away again because they've been turned away before.

[00:15:20] So for the final type of customer, the one who's like, I don't care about any of that. , let's just put a muzzle on him. Pound him down. Make him do it. I know he's a jerk. They often say this is mostly women in dog grooming. Is there a man nearby who can, who can maybe be stronger?

[00:15:39] 'cause you're just too wishy-washy. And I understand where they're coming from, but that's usually when I tell them like, listen, like it's not about being wishy-washy. This is just good science. I can teach him to be good for it for his whole life. If you wanna have him held down and have it done in a way that's gonna hurt him, you don't need a professional to do that.

[00:15:58] You can go home and do that yourself. Well, I'll probably hurt him if I do him myself. Yeah. Yeah. You're probably gonna hurt him doing it that way. That's why we don't do it. That's why your professional doesn't do it that way. Yeah, but I don't know how to trim nails. Doesn't matter. He is gonna be kicking 'em anyway.

[00:16:14] They're gonna be bleeding all over the place and people will look at me like, oh my God, I can't believe you'd be willing to let my dog get hurt by me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not gonna be part of that. Okay, groomers. If somebody said, I don't care if he's matted, just do the trim on top of the mats, every groomer out there is gonna say, you are not my customer.

[00:16:34] I'm sorry I couldn't break through and help you understand why we don't do that. But we don't go ahead and do it. This is the same thing. This is somebody who wants you to do a pretty haircut over mats. We tell them no, tell them no. It's not how I do business. I will not be doing it that way. So as we talk to these owners, we always wanna keep circling back to what is our solution.

[00:17:00] Our solution is to help teach 'em to be good for it. That's gonna be our solution. That's what we want the outcome to be. And we have lots and lots and lots of groomers out there successfully doing that. I am one and I didn't always do it this way. So we wanna talk to these people and help them understand that we have solutions.

[00:17:21] Here is something else that I use for my customers sometimes. We start talking about humane. What is humane and what is kind. And for professional groomers, there is the professional pet groomers and stylists alliance, our P-P-G-S-A Standards of Care, safety and Sanitation.

[00:17:37] And this was come up with by a whole bunch of different. People in our industry, in the grooming industry, and I'll tell you what it says on the introduction on page three, it should be the goal of every pet groomer and stylist to treat all animals entrusted to their care with kindness, patience, respect, and compassion, ensuring their safety, health, and wellbeing.

[00:18:04] Boom, right, right there, it's saying this is not part of humane handling. Okay. And it's okay to tell an owner that like, listen, I'm not here to hurt your dog. I'm a pet stylist. I am a dog groomer. I want to help you with your problem and with your dog, but that dog doesn't live with me and that dog is not my problem.

[00:18:28] Take a deep breath, everybody. That's a hard one. You have a dog that has some problems and I wanna help you with that. Your dog, your problems, and I don't need to be the one to do it. You can buy grooming equipment, you can get a couple of friends, offer them pizza make it like they're helping you move a refrigerator and just have you do your own dog in your garage.

[00:18:55] If you don't care about safety, if you don't care about the dog's experience and you just wanna strap him down while he screams and get it done, you don't need a professional to do that. 'cause a professional won't do it anyway. So you can go do it yourself. Yes. You're probably gonna get hurt. Yeah. Your dog's probably gonna get hurt too.

[00:19:13] That's why we don't recommend it. That's why we don't do it. Stop being bullied into doing things that we know. Don't help. We know it's not gonna help. Stop being bullied by people. Tell them that's not how we do it. Tell them I have other options, this is episode 1 95, so there are a whole bunch of episodes about lots and lots of options.

[00:19:38] But just know, talking to the owner who's not getting it, try to come up with a bunch of ways to help them see what the difference is. Okay? Because also a dog who is good for grooming, a dog who learns to trust us and is relaxed for it, is gonna be easier to take care of. It's gonna help them in the long run because when that dog is 18 and needs something done and they don't think it's frightening, they can still be groomed safely.

[00:20:08] We might change the way we do things with older dogs and fragile dogs, but if we are not traumatizing them, like that's wonderful. And I have worked with a lot of dogs who used to be muzzled and who've been thrown outta places when we teach them that it's safe. Those old behaviors do not come back. How awesome is that?

[00:20:30] There is a future for the dog who is worried there is a future for the dog who is aggressive. There is a future for the dog who really, really, really has trouble with grooming, and it's our job as professionals to help our owners feel inspired to go ahead and work with us on it and to turn them away if they don't.

[00:20:50] I, it, it's awful and I hate it, but I am not gonna get wrapped up in that. So again, groomers behavior questions and behavior discussions have to happen before you have that dog on your table. Talk to people about behavior. Make sure they know if he starts screaming and trying to flail, I'm not gonna just add more straps and get it done.

[00:21:15] That's not how we do business anymore. It's 2024. Start off with just helping them understand behavior problems are safety problems. We have humane standards that we have to stick to, and the one I listed was just the P-P-G-S-A, but there are others. There are dog training standards there.

[00:21:32] Did you know that veterinarians can turn dogs away if it's not in a medical emergency? They sure can. We do not need to be the one to do this dog's trim and we want to help. There are lots of ways that we can help.

[00:21:46] So again, this is Christine Neumyer Smith. I run classes. If you are interested in learning more about becoming a master groomer behavior specialist, or even if you just wanna take one of those eight week classes. Okay. There are lots of things to learn. I love to teach this stuff and I do teach that at Whole Pet Grooming Academy, so you can go to whole pet nh.com or if you wanna just check out what that Master Groomer Behavior Specialist Diploma program is, you can go to master groomer behavior specialist.com and have a great week.